| You might be taking your scouting too serious if: You buy that '89 Chevy Caprice because you really like that fleur di lis hood ornament. Your favorite color is "olive drab". You decide to lash together the new deck on the back of your house. You plan to serve foil meals at your next dinner party. You walk the streets in broad daylight with a coffee cup and flashlight hanging from your belt. You raise your hand in the scout sign at a heated business meeting. You were arrested by airport security because you wouldn't give up your official BSA pocket knife until the cop said "thank you". You didn't mind losing power to your house for three days. Your son hides his copy of Boy's life from you. Your plans for remodeling the bathroom include digging the hole deeper. You trade your 25 foot center console fishing boat in on that great little `15 foot canoe. Your favorite movie is "Follow Me Boys" staring Fred MacMurry, and you spent months trying to convince Disney to release it on home video. You managed to find that 8th day in the week. Your patron saint is Ward Cleaver. You disconnect the automatic dishwasher in favor of the "3 pot method." You sneak a cup of "bug juice" after the troop turns in for the night. You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together. Latrines at camp start becoming comfortable. You felt you won a moral victory when BSA brought back knee socks You think campaign hats are cool. You gave your wife a mummy bag rated for -15 deg F for Christmas. You name one of your kids Baden. Your favorite tune is "Camp Granada" (hello mudda.....hello fadda) by Allen Sherman. You can recite the 12 points of the Scout Law backwards, in order, in 3 seconds flat. You bought 10,000 shares of Coleman stock on an inside tip they were about to release a microwave accessory for their camp stove line. You can't eat eggs anymore unless they are cooked in a zip-locked bag. You plan to get rich by writing a best selling Dutch Oven cook book. You took a chemistry course at the local college to help you develop a better fire starter. You actually own a left-handed smoke shifter. The height of your social season is the district recognition dinner. A trip to Philmont is a pilgramage. Your are convinced the center of the universe is Irving, Texas. The sales operators at the BSA distribution Center's 800 number recognize your voice. Singing "Scout Vespers" makes you cry uncontrollably. You were disappointed when Scouting magazine didn't win the Pulitzer Prize last year. The Scouts in your troop chipped in to have you abducted by a professional cult de-programmer. |
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| The Scouter's Wife and the Scout's Mother (In memory of Nancy Plitt and Judy Simpson, and in honor of all others) |
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If your laundry routine includes inspecting for red shoulder tabs ... you might be a Scouter's wife or a Scout's mother. If a dab of Coleman fuel behind each ear is more alluring to your husband than Chanel No. 5 ... you might be a Scouter's wife. If your laundry routine includes inspecting for blue cards in shirt pockets .. you might be a Scout's mother. If a Thursday night family dinner consists of Whoppers in the car in the church parking lot .. you might be a Scouter's wife and a Scout's mother. If you cook a nice pot roast for supper for the Scoutmaster because he came straight from work to a PLC meeting at your house, and then heat up the leftovers for your husband when he gets home, ... you might be a Scouter's wife. If your only real vacation in 5 years involves driving from Maryland to Philmont with a carload of boys ... you might be a Scouter's wife. If your husband plans a "night out with the boys", and you know that it will be a night _outdoors_ with boys ... you might be a Scouter's wife. If your most memorable vacation with your husband was being the only woman in a crew of nine men and boys on the Allagash River in Maine .. you might be a Scouter's wife. If you spend your honeymoon wearing green shorts and knee socks ... you might be a new Scouter's wife. If your husband mutters in his sleep about a ticket, and you know we hasn't just caught speeding .. you might be a Scouter's wife. If you've converted your dining room into an office, and your garage looks like L.L. Bean's attic .. you might be a Scouter's wife. If your husband's tan line starts just above his knees, and ends three inches below his knees ... you might be a Scouter's wife. If you have shelves of coffee mugs, and you don't drink coffee ... you might be a Scouter's wife. If your best china cup has a 1865 Camporee logo on it .. you might be a Scouter's wife. If your husband has disappeared, and you know you can always find him at Price Club trying to get a deal on #10 cans of peaches for cobbler ... you might be a Scouter's wife. If you tell your husband you are expecting to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, and he thinks the PLC meeting is at your house tonight ... you might be a Scouter's wife. If your husband brings home three rolls of red-white-and-blue ribbon to be sewn into Mothers' ribbons, and says "Don't worry, the Court of Honor isn't until tomorrow night and we only need 15 made" .. . and you don't have a sewing machine ... and you get it done ... you might be a Scouter's wife. If you just _know_ that the sun room will be finished, right after the next Goshen Bears workend ... you might be a Scouter's wife. If your family car seats 8, even though there are only 4 in your family ... you might be a Scouter's wife. If the money collected for your memorial is used to but an air compressor for Scout Camp, and everyone thinks that is just right ... you were a Scouter's wife. If you keep your Mother's ribbon, with the Eagle pin, with you _forever_, .. you were a Scouter's mother. Copywrite: Chuck & Nancy May, June 1996. permission granted to circulate it freely within the Scouting community for non-commercial purposes. Chuck May Assistant Vice Chairman - Program Seneca District National Capital Area Council Gaithersburg, MD |
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